Plot summary

The film unfolds during a Semester-at-Sea-type cruise in the Caribbean. The class from Billingsly University are trying to put on a play to win a contest. Dean Dryer (Larry Drake) & Captain Bunkley (Richard Riehle) give no hope to the students from Billingsly to survive the cruise. Captain Bunkley has a hot wife named Summer Solstice (Jasmin St. Clair).Sexy and scheming Gerri (Marieh Delfino) and stoner Peter Michael "Pete" Hanson (Patrick Cavanaugh) are competing for a scholarship. Dean Dryer will decide who gets it. Booker McFee (Chris Owen) wanted to be free on the cruise and hence broke up with his girlfriend Rachel (Gable Carr), only to find that she signed up for the semester at sea program as well. Newmar (Tony Denman) is trying to have sex with Violet (Vida Guerra), his Christian girlfriend. Its been 3 months.Rusty (Oren Skoog) is just trying to have sex with anything he can. He signs up for the abstinence support group to meet sex starved women. Violet is the president of the group and soon figures that Rusty is only there to score with chicks. Rusty is ejected from the group. The creepy Dante (Nicolas Shake) runs around planning all sorts of nefarious schemes.The gang is competing with other colleges on the cruise for a theatre competition. Booker is constantly distracted by Rachel who keeps removing her clothes provocatively around him. She also flirts with Stukas (Kip Martin), to make Booker jealous. The play involves a diamond, and the group (Marla (Danielle Fishel), Lynne (Jennifer Lyons), Brady (Worm Miller), equipment guy Mike (Patrick Casey), director Robin (China Jesusita Shavers)) practices with a glass replica of the same. Marla and Lynne tease Rusty about being a virgin still.Professor Rexford "Rex" Cavendish (Charles Shaughnessy) gives a talk about a stolen diamond "Pharaoh's heart" worth $20 MM. He was one of the last people to see it before is was reported missing. The diamonds carried a curse and each one of its thief's (14 in the last 86 yrs) has turned up dead. That evening a thief steals something from Rex's safe, but Rex later returns to his cabin and finds the diamond safe and sound in an African statue. Rex is having an affair with Robin. Bunkley changes the cruise schedule and wont stop at an island that it was supposed to dock at that evening. Rex had plans to meet the diamond's buyer at the island.The theatre group has 2 entries. The first entry has 3 girls bouncing their naked boobs on stage for 15 mins. The judges (Dr. Joyce Brothers, Ted Lange & Kato Kaelin) are enthralled, along with the rest of the audience. They score it a 9.6/10. A gay friend suggests that Marla and Lynne are gay, so Marla tries to disprove this by having sex with any guy. At the next island, Rex tries to charter a boat to get to his buyer. Meanwhile the mysterious thief again tries to poison Rex, but fails when Gerri gets hold of Rex's drink at the bar. As Rex tries to get off the boat, the thief confronts him. In the scuffle, Rex falls a few tiers on the ship and lands on a deck chair, while the diamond ends up in the laundry chute. eventually, Rex falls in the water.Booker decides to have sex with all 3 bouncing girls together to make Rachel jealous. She also finds a hot stud and pretends to have sex with him to make Booker jealous. But neither had sex. Violet decides to have sex with Newmar the following night. Booker and Rusty advise him to use soft porn to set the mood. But when Newmar plays Porn, Violet is totally offended. Pete wanders offshore to get some drugs and is told that monkey balls are great drug. He & his friend Wang (Paul Hansen Kim) ends up being conned into buying a monkey, whom he smuggles on board. But the monkey is very cute and they end up not being able to kill Choo-Choo. Choo-Choo used to steal items from tourists for his owner, and now starts stealing for Pete and Wang. Gerri gets horribly drunk and ends up naked in Stukas's room. He kicks her out the next morning and she ends up in front of Dean dryer in nothing but a blanket.Choo-Choo finds the poison vial used by the thief the previous night and also finds the diamond in the laundry room. Rusty finds that Gerri loses control after drinks and offers her Vodka at breakfast. He has the drink thrown in his face, which blinds him and he ends up in the woman's shower where he is beaten by Olga (Kinna McInroe), a fat Russian chick. Rusty runs and falls over the railing with his dick in front of Newmar's window, which scares Violet and she runs away. Dante confronts Robin and says he knows about her and Rex. Robin reports Rex as missing to Dryer and Bunkley.The play from Billingsly univ is about to start when Violet drops out as she is embarrassed. Rachel steps in as she has the whole play memorized. Choo-Choo gives Wang the diamond, and he puts in the box with the other play props. Rachel and Booker hook up again. Rusty realizes that the soft porn video stars Bunkley's wife Summer Solistice. He rushes to the captain's cabin and asks Summer for sex, who asks him to come back to her room at 8 45 pm, in the middle of the play.The play starts and Lynne drops the diamond as usual, but this time it doesn't break. Some people realize that its the real "Pharaoh's heart". Stukas has a drink on stage, as per the script, but falls dead for real (someone had poisoned his drink). The crew close the curtain and Choo-Choo runs away with the diamond with Marla and Pete noticing this. Pete runs away after the monkey. Rusty goes for his appointment with Summer. The play is adjourned when a stage wall falls apart. Dante admits to putting something in Stukas's drink to Wang and Pete. He doesn't know yet that Stukas is dead. Marla goes after Choo-Choo with Lynne. Rachel and Booker head to have sex. Rusty has to hide when the captain returns, but finds many other guys hiding in Summer's room. Robin finds a picture of the diamond in Rex's room and realizes he did steal it. Dante confronts Robin and tells her to watch her own play. Marla finds Choo-Choo and gets the diamond, but Pete takes it when Lynne distracts her with a kiss. Choo-Choo finds Rex's real gun on deck and takes it back to the play and replaces it with the prop gun.Robin tells Captain that Dante perhaps killed Rex and Wang confirms that Dante perhaps killed Stukas. But Dante says he only drugged Stukas. Dante realizes that Choo-Choo switched his drug vial with the poison vial that the thief was using. At this point Bunkley reveals himself to be the thief and admits that he killed Rex and Stukas to steal the diamond, which he wanted to gift to his perfect wife Summer. Rusty reveals that Summer is a whore and a porn-star. The Captain is defeated when a stage light falls on his head. Choo-Choo reveals that the diamond with the captain was a fake, so the real one is still on the ship. Later, Choo-Choo is on the deck with the real diamond, all by himself